Progress Report and Stuff

Deadlines, oh how I hate deadlines. Personal ones are the worst, ones where the sole consequence of missing them is your own feeling of disappointment. At least official deadlines have that knack of snapping you out of your workless funk a few days before it. When I took up this blog again after over a month break I set myself a weekly quota and, thus far, I have met it, producing a ‘Nomad’ post at least once a week for the past few weeks. This week however I will come dangerously close to missing it, reasons for which are many.

The past few weeks have been trying ones for me, I’ve been as close to depressed as I ever have been before, myself being a generally contented person and I have been having major doubts about pretty much everything. This time last year it was my first year at university and I had made a lot of great new friends, I was generally enjoying life as I never have done previously. In fact, if you were to look at the posts around November of last year, you would read the writings of a happy young man, excited at his prospects and experiencing fresh new experiences every day. I had just left home for the first time and, contrary to some who feel homesick, I loved it.

Fast forward to the present and things have changed, due to a number of factors such as self-doubt, loneliness and general apathy towards my current situation amongst others, I have become introverted. Whereas last year I sought the company of others and was always up for a night out, I now can not wait to get back to my room and be on my own. I seem to have given up trying to be honest. I can only hope that the Christmas break will do me some good and my mood improves accordingly.

Now for the progress report! The routine I have developed for writing ‘Nomad’ posts is to first play half a day and make notes on it, then play the other half and do likewise, before writing it all up in one or two sessions. This is fairly time-consuming, depending on how eventful the day was (and day 11 is fairly eventful). I usually hope to start around the beginning of the week after posting the previous day around friday the previous. This week however I have only just started and it is very nearly saturday so I have a lot to do in very little time. I am however determined to get a quality post out there by sunday 00:59! This blog has been rather therapeutic over the last month or so and playing and writing as Adrian Caro provides somewhat of an escape from reality. Not to mention reading other people’s comments and blogs that serve to cheer me after a thankless day.

I won’t tag this one or share it on Facebook as I have never been one for sharing feelings and such, at least before I “grew up” (being a child was much simpler). I thought I’d keep y’all updated anyways and, until sunday…

Adantur out.

4 comments on “Progress Report and Stuff

  1. Oh wow…there were so many times I could have written this exact post. I’ve struggled with depression forever, the ups and downs, and self-doubt and crippling exhaustion. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time and I’m glad you’re comfortable being open about it. I’m baking today and I lived there, I’d bring you pumpkin bread. Otherwise, my email is always open if you want to “talk.” It’s in the “About” section of my blog.

    • adantur says:

      Thanks, I’m not quite depressed or anything that serious thankfully, but I have certainly never felt this bad before. I think it’s just the uncertainty that comes with finally growing up along with a few other unpleasant incidences and circumstances. Pumpkin bread sounds great, mail order perhaps? =]

  2. Pyrelle says:

    I am sorry you are going through a rough patch. I wish there were something I could do to help. I know when I get that way a deep meditation session helps me greatly. Or Baking…you would be surprised how baking a batch of brownies can lift your spirits.

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